'How can a man act like this?' Did this question ever occur to you?
You may have seen such a person in society or read or heard about such a person. Such a person can be a man, a woman, a small boy, a girl. Maybe this person can be a sociopath.
Dr Martha Stout has thrown light upon such a personality in her book 'Outsmarting the Sociopath next door'.
Psychopath, crazy, insane, half-hearted are all inadequate descriptions to describe a sociopath. Because there is some reason for the behavior of such persons, there is some scope for improvement. But with a sociopath there is no such possibility. The only thing you can hope for is that you don't find a sociopath anywhere. But the unfortunate thing is that sometimes, somewhere, a sociopath comes into your life. Sometimes a sociopath can be someone in your household. The only thing in our hands is to protect ourselves from the sociopath.
1. A hole in the Psyche:-
A sociopath's mentality is very flawed.
Tom and Jack drive their cars and come face to face. Tom makes a mistake and Tom ends up in the opposite lane. Jack pulls off the road to save Tom and Jack's car gets stuck in the mud. Jack is well dressed and on his way to meet his girlfriend. Jack is furious. He straightaway pulls out a pistol and shoots Tom.
A sociopath lacks a conscience. If you have ever done something wrong by mistake, you will have a prick of conscience. But a sociopath would never feel that way. Another thing is that they enjoy seeing others suffer. Are these people murderers? A murderer may be a sociopath, but not all sociopaths are not murderers. Such persons should be in jail. But the law is unable to catch them. On the contrary, these people are also found in high positions in the society.
2. When the Sociopath belongs to you:
(A scene from BR Chopra's 1973 Hindi film 'Dhund'. While reading the book, I felt that the character Ranjit in the film fits the author's description of a sociopath)In one incident, a twelve-year-old boy raped his six-year-old sister. Another incident is like this. A mother made a small gate in the staircase to prevent her two-year-old daughter from going to the stairs. The mother went to the laundry to do some work when she heard her daughter screaming. She came out and saw that her daughter had fallen down the stairs and died. Her elder son was standing in front of her, looking on. According to him, he knew nothing about how this happened. Maybe she learned how to open the gate.
All of these incidents had one thing in common and that was the lack of conscience. On the contrary, the sociopaths did not feel anything about their doing anything wrong. Again such sociopaths are very good at showing how innocent they are and exploiting the mental weakness of others to get the most out of it.
So what is the solution? There is currently no solution for this. Even sending such children for a training program does not improve them. There is a training program known as Kazdin model. This training program can be tried with the advice of a psychologist.
You have to take into confidence your good child who is suffering from this sociopathic sibling. Be ready with the legal advice if the situation requies. Because if such kid starts carrying drugs, the police may come after you.
3. Human evil at work:
Sociopathic Boss:
Grace works to reply to the e-mails that her boss, Angela, has told her. But Angela says that this is not what she has said. She scolds Grace by telling her that she needs to learn to listen better and gives Grace an orange wrist band to remind her that she needs to listen properly. Grace felt very humiliated. But she couldn't do anything.
Many people have had such an experience with the boss. In this situation it is better to change the job if possible. If that is not possible, you can write down the date-wise details of how the boss harasses you from time to time. These details can come in handy when it comes time to discuss with the senior management.
Sociopathic professionals:
It is very sad if the professionals like doctors, teachers, lawyers who are supposed to be helping the society turn out to be sociopaths. In the case of professionals, there is a board that certifies professionals. Going to court is very expensive and time consuming. Instead you may complain to the concerned board.
4. The Sociopath in Court:
5. The iciest of all:
When a sociopath commits acts such as killing another or inducing another to commit suicide, the motive behind these acts may be only fun and enjoyment for him. The publicity in court and in the press following a murder can be a feast for the sociopath's demonic tendencies.
Another weapon the sociopath's demonic power has gained in today's Internet age is cyber attacks. This seemingly innocuous attack can actually be horrific and lead to the suicide of an innocent person. Because a sociopath can make life difficult for a person by constantly sending offensive messages.
We expect a monster to look like a monster. But the sociopath tries to appear innocent. A sociopath's innocent appearance can influence juries in court. Security settings can be made more secure in case of cyber attacks.
6. Transcending the sociopath's effects:
6.1-Understand the type of person you are dealing with.
6.2-Remember your side is based on goodness. Determine your goal.
6.3-Change the Game. For example, a sociopathic partner is trying to take custody of your children. You may prioritize children's safety.
6-4. Focus on your own goal.
6-5. Don't let the sociopath get what he wants. A sociopath takes pleasure in upsetting you. You stay calm.
6-6. There may be the other people who suffer from that particular sociopath. Take their help.
6-7. Note, the goal you set now is only a part of your life, not the whole life.
6-8. Don't talk to people too much about the crisis. Your problem may not seem as important to them as you.
6-9. Take care of your health.
6-10. Protect yourself from violence.
7. Sociopath or Narcissist:
Narcissus is a character in Greek mythology. Narcissus was very handsome. Once he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with himself and ended his life pining for his own image. That is the reason why a person who loves himself is called a narcissist.
A personality that confuses us like a sociopath is a narcissist. Although there are many similarities between the two, there are also fundamental differences. A sociopath has no conscience, while a narcissist has a conscience, but no empathy. A sociopath is power hungry while a narcissist is praise hungry. Technically a sociopath is a narcissist but a narcissist is not necessarily a sociopath.
8. Sociopathy at the institutional level:-
9. The nature of good:-
A fat boy came to live in one place. All the kids used to tease him because of his obesity. Once those kids pushed the fat boy into the mud. A girl saw that and couldn't stand it. She asked explanation from those naughty kids. The kids did not answer. But again they did not bother the fat boy.
Such is the good attitude. Just as evil-minded people do not give up their nature, the same way well-motivated people do not give up their nature. This is where there is hope.
Sociopathy is a type of personality disorder. There is currently no medical cure for sociopathy. Perhaps neurology will eventually find a solution to this. Until then, one will continue to meet sociopathic people in some or other sphere of life. Avoiding them or ignoring them is not the solution. So they must be overcome.
About the authoress:
Dr Martha Stout, the authoress of the book, has served on the faculty of psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School for twenty-five years. She has worked as a clinical associate at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. She has done an independent practice as a clinical psychologist and specializes in trauma and PTSD. She has taught psychology at graduate level in many schools and colleges.
The review:
Dr. Martha Scout, the authoress is an authority on the subject of psychology and has made her entire experience available to the readers in this book in simple language. She has explained the complex concepts of psychology in simple terms. By explaining the personality of sociopath in detail, she has explained how one can protect oneself from such a personality. The extracts from the letters of the affected people , quotations from various books, all show the great effort taken by the authoress to write the book. This book is a milestone in understanding and overcoming the sociopath personality.
About the book:
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